Five Nights at Freddy’s

So scary. Much clicking. Wow.

In all seriousness, Five Nights at Freddy’s isn’t your run-of-the-mill jumpscare horror game. Wikipedia describes it as a “point and click survival horror,” which makes me feel like whoever wrote that article did not play the game for longer than twelve seconds. In this game you play as a night security guard (presumably making minimum wage) at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. You learn about your particular job duties, or more specifically how exactly to play the game, from a horribly long answering machine message (which gives you time to practice your clicking skills). This involves keeping track of what I believe are demon-possessed animatronic animals, each of which are eager to stuff you into an animatronic suit. You can see where this is going.

You are confined to one room for the duration of the game. Your main goal is to keep things out of the room, which seems simple enough until you find out that each time you look at a camera, close a door, or turn on a light, you are draining energy away from the pizzeria’s generator. Each mouse click becomes simultaneously precious and rage-inducing as you frantically try to keep track of the eponymous Freddy and his cohorts, waiting for just the right moment to slam the door on a giant chicken or bunny. You will begin to question your own sanity as you click and re-click. Did that bear just move? Was that someone running down the hall? Click, click, click.

The stress becomes almost unbearable as you try to last the night(s) in this place. I love this game. I hate Chica.

Let’s eat!!!


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